The Unthinking Blogger

Easter Sunday, and first thing in the morning I am confronted by a
Thornton’s chocolate gorilla wielding a banana (what’s she trying to say?), who was swiftly dealt with in the only humane and acceptable manner for dispatching leering chocolatey simians: he got his head bitten off.

As well as chocolate gorillas, Easter also has something to do with, erm, crosses and some dude named Jesus, an excellent blogger apparently, though presently I can’t provide you with the link to his website. Anyway, this blogger, it is said, not only was made to drag a cross around town in forty degrees heat without being offered so much as a beverage, but also got nailed to it for his troubles. Good thing then that he wasn’t hanged or you lot would all be kneeling in front of a gibbet.

But this isn’t an Agnostic’s Easter sermon. I’ve been tagged by the thinking blogger’s delicious bit of crumpet, waspgoddess. She has awarded me the Unthinking Blogger Award. I didn’t have the heart to point out to her that she misspelt ‘unthinking’, forgetting, as one does, to add ‘un’ to the word by way of a prefix, but as you are all probably aware, I’ll take flattery even if it comes via the happy accident of a typo.

I am told that I must list five other bloggers who are more thinking than me, and I rather like that, since an impromptu pin-the-tail-on-the-blogroll game will instantly yield a more than adequate list. I would have Jesus on the list too but as I’ve already explained I’ve mislaid his url.

So, without further verbal masturbation, here is the list of bloggers who are more than merely capacious in the art of cerebral manipulation of information:

1. Ariel [from fuck up to] fab*. No fuck-ups here. She’s just fab.

2. Known Turf. A recent serendipitous discovery. If you haven’t read her, you’re in a for a great treat.

3. Maryam in Marrakech, whom I am madly in love with, and who rebukes my advances by dressing up in catgirl outfits and hissing ferociously, only inflaming my passion even further. Terrible thing, unrequited love. Oh and her ability for cognition is pretty vast too.

4. Sarsparilla. She doesn’t know I exist, and I doubt she’ll even acknowledge being tagged, such is the lofty nature of the world she inhabits. All the same, she’s the equivalent of LSD without any of the side-effects: enjoyable, addictive and mind-expanding. I only wish she’d post more often.

5. The Overnight Editor. To quote Bertie Wooster: “if I had a brain the size of Jeeves’, I would have a shot at being Prime Minister.” This guy would reduce Jeeves to a dithering and incoherent shambles. The only male on the list, but he makes up for it by probably possessing the most impressive intellect I’ve ever come across in the blogosphere.

I am duty-bound to point out that this isn’t some free-for-all make-it-up-as-you-go-along tag bonanza. Nope. There are rules, you know: 

rule number one: you do not talk about memes.  Sorry, wrong list. This is it:

 1. all members of the Order of Satanists… hang on, that’s not it either. I must remember to get rid of these rule books from clubs I’ve been expelled from.

These are the rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

3. There are no rules. Did I get that right? Oh wait, here we are:

3. Optional: Display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote. 

Thank you waspgoddess.